Bacons are Home & Doing Well, but I'm having an adrenaline crash

I went into Harborview and was told straight away that they were anticipating discharging him this afternoon. I started crying to the neurosurgeon and physical therapist--I'm not ready to care for him like this!! Since I wasn't really there on Sat. or Sun., I didn't think he had made all that many gains or recovered his lost abilities. I met with "all of the therapies" (PT, OT, SP); I really challenged PT to ensure he was really able to get in and out of bed on his own, get up and down from a seated-position on his own, and know what stretches he needs to do on his own (not me doing it with him).

I was surprised at how much he was able to do again, compared to Wednesday when I called 911. And how much the swelling had gone down!  Wow!  Okay, so he just may be ready to come home today.

"But how do I know he's safe to cook? Or that it's safe to leave our 4-year-old daughter with him? He's caring for her this summer since she's out of preschool for July and August." I told them about the November 2008 car accident he was in and how afterward he had new deficits (i.e., dressing apraxia, opening vs. closing doors when leaving the house). How were we sure he didn't have some more detrimental apraxias?!?  They didn't know that these were concerns of mine and stated that they'd have OT come and assess him again, since she assessed him when I wasn't there, and that SP would come talk to me about comprehension and cognitive function.

After PT's evaluation, I sat and quizzed him to see if his comprehension was back up to where it was pre-surgery. I noticed his eyes were lit-up again; the light behind his eyes seemed to be turned on and he didn't seem to be in a fog anymore. He was able to do our standard thumbs-up for "Yes" and thumbs-down for "No" that he was not able to do at all when I called 911. Then I tested him with basic questions: "we have a son", "Is it December right now?", "This is my knee" as I pointed to my ear. Before today, he would've looked at me like, "Oh! You want me to copy you" and he would've grabbed his ear and tugged on it while he looked at me like, "Yeah you idiot, that's an ear! I'll grab mine and you'll see... I totally understand what you're talking about!" He would've missed the whole intent of the question and the action.  Now he's understanding that what I was doing was quizzing him and he also understood what was required of him.  Whereas 3 or 4 days before today, he would have missed the boat, so to speak, in terms of what was my intent in grabbing my ear and looking at him with a questioning face and a high pitched tone.

After a bit more "talking" back and forth about Morgan, and if he thinks he's safe to care for her, I went and told the staff that I was okay for him to be discharged to our house instead of a nursing home or skilled nursing facility.  I was definitely reassured after our "conversation"; he was able to assess his abilities, his deficits since the surgery and how they would limit him.  Here was our conversation: "Do you think you could walk Morgan up to the park by yourself again?" "Ummmm, no." "If I drove you two up there, would you be okay hanging with her for an hour or two?"  "Yep, whee, whee." (translation: "Yep, totally. Yep, I could do that!").