I will ALWAYS find the Silver Lining. I will continue to squeeze the hell out of all of the lemons that I am handed or that I find along the way. I will get every last-bit-of-juicy-wonderfulness from those lemons. I will continue to use that juice to enrich my life & my relationships.
I may only have the reserves & bandwidth to take a single itsy, bitsy, tiny step each week, on this journey to regain a "normal", but I am DETERMINED to infuse Morgan and my life with a sense of routine, stability, & predictability. I wish I could make more gains every week, or even some gains each and every day, but ... I realized last week, that it's M and I on this journey. I cannot count on anyone else. I cannot hope for a constant other than myself. I must be my own defender, my own advocate, my own best friend, my own cheerleader. And, in a year from now, Morgan & I may only be 52 wee-steps ahead of where we are today, but at least I am doing MY best & fighting off all forces that try to drag her & I back into the chaos, the unpredictability, the overwhelming demands, the non-routine lifestyle that has been our life for nearly seven years now.
I may only have the reserves & bandwidth to take a single itsy, bitsy, tiny step each week, on this journey to regain a "normal", but I am DETERMINED to infuse Morgan and my life with a sense of routine, stability, & predictability. I wish I could make more gains every week, or even some gains each and every day, but ... I realized last week, that it's M and I on this journey. I cannot count on anyone else. I cannot hope for a constant other than myself. I must be my own defender, my own advocate, my own best friend, my own cheerleader. And, in a year from now, Morgan & I may only be 52 wee-steps ahead of where we are today, but at least I am doing MY best & fighting off all forces that try to drag her & I back into the chaos, the unpredictability, the overwhelming demands, the non-routine lifestyle that has been our life for nearly seven years now.
I have always (...well for the past six years) wanted to sit-down and list all of the post-stroke-things for which I am grateful. There have been numerous occurrences, lessons, changes, etc. that the stroke has provided to me, Morgan, and/or Wayne and of which I have continually and steadfastly chosen to find the Silver Lining.
Now I am not saying that I don't cry or that I am always chipper--because that would be a lie. I have had bad days along the way, I still get mad, there is still pain and hurt, but I always find myself concluding any tiny journey with a grateful conclusion.
I'm going to attempt to list the experiences for which I am grateful here. ... I'll most definitely add to it along the way, but I want to get a few of these out of my mind and onto "paper":
Silver Lemon...
Now I am not saying that I don't cry or that I am always chipper--because that would be a lie. I have had bad days along the way, I still get mad, there is still pain and hurt, but I always find myself concluding any tiny journey with a grateful conclusion.
I'm going to attempt to list the experiences for which I am grateful here. ... I'll most definitely add to it along the way, but I want to get a few of these out of my mind and onto "paper":
Silver Lemon...
- #1: that our families were finally able to meet. Our in-laws had never met and only because of the stroke was everyone able to meet (albeit in Harborview's ICU waiting room -- :-| LOL).
- #2: nearly all of the extended-family members from Minnesota (my home) and New Zealand (Wayne's home) got to meet our little Bacon Bit when she was only three-weeks old!! Morgan will always have those pictures of nearly all of her aunts and uncles and grandparents holding her!! :)
- #3: I learned to say "No" -- I had been a Yes Woman for my entire 31 years prior to the stroke. I did not know how to say "No". The "shoulds" and the "musts" had always been the supreme ruler in my decisions. I no longer feel bound by those. ....I want to elaborate on this ...
... and the other 500+ lessons I've gained, but I also want to get this blog posted...
...so ... More To Come ...
